The Rumbler

Friday, March 12, 2010



Its not something kids in Somalia play -- It's a book.

Written by Suzanne Collins (same writers/book club as Stephanie Meyers (Twilight))
To give you a synopsis of the book, let me use an example. Think what would have happened after the Civil War if the United States wanted to teach the Confederates a lesson about rebellion so each year they would take two children from each Confederate State, put them into an arena full of weapons and watch it until only one child is left.
That would describe the world that Suzanne Collins has created in The Hunger Games. Except hers takes place in a dystopian future.

But wait! Some of you must be thinking, "How come I see so many girls reading and talking about this science fiction, war based futuristic novel?" It does not add up. I am pretty sure that most girls dislike killing children, science fiction or anything that combines the two. So why this book?
It is simple. Apparently the Phoenix, Arizona writers book club came up with one simple and universally poignant formula for writing books -- one girl, two guys and don't worry about the girls character, just make sure to create a guy that is sympathetic, unconditionally loving, caring, loyal, extremely good looking and if possible they can turn into precious jewels.
I'll tell you what, in Hunger Games, it worked.

Katniss, the stoic girl caught between two perfect men (sound familiar?) is chosen to represent her district in the Hunger Games.
To be played by: Jennifer Love Hewitt or Claire Danes

Her lovers include:

Gale: A boy she sneaks away to pick flowers, hunt rabbits and fondly think of better days.
To be played by Orlando Bloom or Jonathan Taylor Thomas.

Peeta: The boy chosen to join her in the Hunger Games. The boy who has always loved Katniss, forever and ever, even if she chose Gale he would die for her. He is gifted at Baking and Icing Cakes. And kissing. (I am still waiting for his character to turn into diamonds.)
To be played by Mark Wahlburg or Mark Ruffalo.

Spoiler Alert!!!!

There are currently three books in the Hunger Games Series, the third is in publication right now. Suzanne is teaming up with another authoress to complete a fourth book which will bind together two separate series. If you haven't guessed which one I will tell you right now -


The two, Stephanie Meyers and Suzanne Collins are teaming up to merge the two together, it will be incredible. Since it is still being written I will offer the following commercial tagline:

"Two Girls . . . Four Perfect Men . . . Let the Fantasy Begin."

Big things are happening in the world of fantasy and female writing and I would recommend reading The Hunger Games book series.

For optimal reading: Ice cream, bubble bath and an arm rest.

Book Wine Pairing: A frothy unoaked Sauvignon Blanc, $76.00

Monday, October 05, 2009

Limited Pre-Screeing of New Moon

My dawn brightened when I was allowed to view a very limited and elite pre-screening of New Moon, the delightful sequel to the Vampire romance series titled Twilight.

For the reader that is not familiar with these excellent reads, let me debrief you. Its about muggles that fall for Vampires. But its a girl-muggle and the book follows her every thought and desire. And get this, its all about how the perfect guy falls in love with the beautifully- innocent Bella Swan (which creatively translates into "beautiful swan")

Written by a woman, the heartthrob Vampire boy, Edward Cullen, is dangerously handsome, he loves Bella -- not only by sight but also by smell -- oh, and it also just happens that sunlight turns him into cute sparkly diamonds. And their first kiss begins with "k".

The book has everything anyone could want and New Moon, the movie, takes this lovers tangle to another level. Add in the sweetness of a Werewolf and the tangle becomes a triangle. Who does she choose, could it be Edwards 4 C's of love or Jacobs ticklishly warm embrace?

She picks Jacob!

There was a moment in the movie where she is braiding his Werehair, a french braid, and they start rolling in the fields, then the screen goes black and the audience gasps. She has chosen her mate. Now, remember that Edward already left Spanish Fork to a far away place, a place where his family would not be tempted to eat Bella's blood. So get this, word spreads that Bella and Jacob the Werewolf hooked up and nobody wanted Edward to know so they told him she committed suicide!

Since Edward thinks Bella is dead, he too has no desire to live. Unlike Shakespeare's Juliet he is unable to lick the poison from her lips or stab himself in the heart, instead he must travel to Italy where the liberal Vampires are pro-euthenasia and agree to kill him.

Bella finds out that when she rides her scooter really fast that she can hear Edward, his sweet lavender voice speaks to her and she goes after him, leaving Jacob for Italy. It is there that the Italian Vampire Illuminati declare that she must die or become a Vampire. She chooses Vampire. . . but wait!

The movie ends with Bella back in Spanish Fork, she is in the clinic getting an ultra sound and she is pregnant with Jacobs Werebaby!

What will happen when she becomes a Vampire and the hybrid baby is born?

Could this be a uniting of the Tribes? I guess we won't know until the release of Forever Dawn.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Hairy Potter and The Half Blood Prince vs. Planetary Astrology

I am on a kick about the starry heavens above and the romantic within. Last post addressed the incredible balance of love and neo-science. This post will focus on Wizards and Planets.

The new movie of Hairy Potter will come out within one month. My goal is to prep my readers on the astrology of wizardry. Wherewolves, Serious Black, Horocruxes and more!!

We are coming up on the Dog Days of Summer (beginning July 3); be prepared.

The astrological parallels and connections relating to HP will metaphysically blow your mind. In a segmented series I will uncover and show pictures about these hidden secrets.

Here is the first clue:

Friday, June 19, 2009

The Perfect Storm

Time Travel Romance. It is what I have been waiting for, an un-timeless romance.

I say 'un-timeless' because most romances are always bound by some sort of time. Too often romance movies end sad, leaving tears and empty hearts. Like the Notebook when Noah and his wife are ugly and old so they decide to kill themselves together. Or like A Walk To Remember when Jamie decides to die and leave everybody.

Finally an author decided to incorporate time-travel and allow a love story to go on forever. Like a silk rose.

The name of the movie is The Time Traveler's Wife, it comes out soon.

This genre was attempted once by Superman and Dr. Quinn in the movie Somewhere In Time. Only in this movie a really old women, I'm talking like 103 years old, creaks up to Superman and tells him to come back to her. I don't know why he would but he did. She was hotter younger, so he chose wisely, but she left him for the wild west and he made the typical blunder of keeping pennies from the future. Spoiler alert. So the future penny took him away from the young Jane Seymor and into the osteoperotic arms of her future self. Thereby leaving all of us upset and sad.

The Time Travelers Wife: Henry travels through time, he does not wish for it and cannot control it. Big events from his life pull him back in, like gravity. His wife, whose husband is never there, spends her whole life waiting. So what if henry doesn't want her to spend her whole life waiting?? What if he decided to go back one last time and make it so that they have never met?? And what if she will always love him, and what if they are just wild hearts that are never meant to be broken?? We'll have to watch and see. Don't be surprised if one of them dies.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Exotic Animals for the Home: Part I


Jogger's quick answer (the basic question of "what is that?" when you take your exotic animal on a nightly walk): "It's a mini-leopard, from Africa"

Daily meal: Live birds. If not available, hide raw turkey in the house, during nightime, when they hunt.

Fun Fact: Great with children

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

If It's Secret and Elite It Can't Be Good

Is it still hot to be a Skull-And-Bones?

What, you have never heard of Yale's most secret and most powerful society?

If not, I am guessing that you have heard of these:
George W. Bush,
John Chafee,
Henry Luce,
Gritton hadden,
John Kerry,
George H.W. Bush,
William F. Buckley,
Willaim Taft etc. etc.

Our presidency, supreme court and senate seats are all heated by men of the order. All of whom have been tapped and reborn as a skull and bones.

Often accused of conspiracy, the "bonesman" as they like to be called, work together to initiate and promote the success of the society.

Due to the macabre, inspiration, and conspiracy that it takes to be a bonesman, I hereby rank The Skull and Bones as 2009's most overrated secret society.

Monday, November 17, 2008

The Best Runner-Up Ever


A true vocalist is one that is able to produce musical sound by only using his/her voice. I do both.

Song is judged by:

  1. Audience reaction
  2. Vocals
  3. Karaoke Ability (reading and staying on pace with lyrics)
  4. Entertainment
  5. Overall Ability

Terms of the contest:

  • Top five singers on the 5,000 passenger cruiseliner
  • Must sing entire song
  • Song choice must be different than previous round
  • No backup singers

Song Choice: Livin' On A Pryaer by Jon Bon Jovi

Reason for song: Based on a midnight society focus group this song was hand selected to fit my style and voice range.

Favorite moments:

  • Wardrobe (pants were hand stitched by Allision and Spencer Davis) -- They were perfectly restitched. Backstage the top stitch came out and I had to take a dancers bobbypin and twist it through to sinch it together. I was worried I wouldn't be strong enought to pull it out.
  • The moment I roundhouse kicked the audience from the stage
  • The summersault after the roundhouse kick
  • Forgetting the lyrics altogether
  • Singing the same line 12 times

Performance Goals:

  1. My overall strategy was to rewrite the lyrics to be a love ballad between Me and Judge Monica.
  2. Leg as a guitar during rockout scene
  3. Pull off pants
  4. Jumpkick, roll into summersault
  5. Step on edge
  6. Extend hand towards audience
  7. Powerslide
  8. Splits
  9. (open for on stage inspiration)

New Lyrics Actual Lyrics
Judd has a really hard life Tommy used to work on the docks
He works so hard Union been on strike
He’s looking for a wife, its tough He’s down on his luck, its tough

So Tough So Tough

Monica is looking for a man Gina works the diner on 8th
I sing so good Workin for the man
Take me home to mom and dad, its love She brings home her pay, its love

For Love For Love


Says she’s got to hold on to
What we’ve got
Doesn’t make a difference if we
Make it or not

We’ve got eachother
And that’s a lot fooooor looove

We’ll Give It a Shot!

Whoooa we’re half way there

Whooo Hoo – We’re livin’ on a prayer

So take my hand, we’ll make it I swear

Whooo HOO We’re livin on a prayer

Judges Response:

Final Results: I took second place and lost by one point to an Idahoan Country singer. Who, I might add, never even attempted a powerslide or the splits.

Glamour Shots (By ALLISON DAVIS)